Let's get real here

I wanted to take a minute to get real about some stuff. I think everyone needs to understand, not everything on social media is real life. Many times people will post what's really going on, they will post the hard stuff, but a lot of times, people post the images they want you to see. The good stuff, the happy stuff. So it can look like everything is roses. That's not real life. Why am I talking about this? Well, because states are starting to talk about opening up, and what to do for fall. And while you may see some of your friends posting pictures of them doing e-learning with their kids and looking happy and showing you color coded schedules, or pinterest boards with lots of themes on them (heck, I'm one of those people), that may not be all there is to their lives. I posted this picture a few weeks ago of Ben doing some work. He looks so happy, right? And he was! He was doing something he enjoyed doing.

   

What you didn't see were scenes like the ones below, where he decided writing 5 sentences was the end of the world. And why would I be telling you this now? Well, because people may have the assumptions that it is easy. That because I have an education background that I can do my job as a Developmental Therapist, help my son with his e-learning, help keep Abby on track with her e-learning and keep up with the massive amount of emails coming in from all of her teachers (literally, an email from at least one teacher every single day telling me how much work she is missing. I GET IT! I know she is missing work. I can see that in her home access account. I am TRYING), as well as live daily life. It's not. It's not easy for any of us. People don't always see the real life. They don't see the massive amounts of laundry in the background. They don't see the mom having to get on her daughter to do her work every 10 minutes because she has ADHD. They don't see the 8 year old who is having trouble writing and is just DONE! They don't see the anxiety, the fear, the chaos. Does that mean I want us to go back to normal life? No. There is no normal anymore. Does that mean I think we should live in our houses forever, never seeing anyone ever again? Good lord no! People need people. BUT, I am not ready to send my kids out in to a petri dish (school) when they are finding that kids are getting an inflammatory response similar to Kawaskai disease from Covid. If I could be assured that all kids would stay 6 feet apart from each other, not touch each other, keep masks on all day long, wash hands every hour, and never share any supplies, maybe I'd feel better about it. But, having taught in public schools, and having taught younger children, I know that is just not possible. So, what do we do? Well, yesterday we had 192 deaths in Illinois from Covid, so I am not ready to open up the  state. Even if they said everything is open up today, I for one would not be going out of my house. It is just too dangerous for my kid and kids like him. I am in favor or the governors phased re-opening. It is based on science and seems very reasonable. I do not think we should let politics come in to play here. I do not think that we should ever be basing this on republican versus democrat. This should always be based on what the science tells us. 

And yes, I am still trying to figure out what to do for the fall. I don't even know yet. I will have a 3rd grader, 6th grader and 8th grader. All 3 are excited about graduating. Ben would be graduating from E1 to E2. Klara would be graduating out of Montessori. Abby would be graduating to high school. I HATE thinking about taking that away from them. Like it really kills me inside. BUT, I will not risk any of their lives for graduation. I can't. And that's what it comes down to. Their lives. Even if I only homeschooled Ben and kept him home because he is the transplant kid, if Abby and Klara go to school, they could be asymptomatic carriers and bring something back and that could end up killing him. So whatever we decide to do, we will be doing for all 3 kids. And I really hope I am not the one that has to decide it. I was so glad when the governor decided to end school for the year and I didn't have to be the bad guy telling the kids they were not going back. Because if he hadn't said it, I would have. They were not going back this school year no matter what. But in the end, our governor made the right choice and ended school for the 19/20 school year. 

But, this is literally life for us. We are used to sanitizing every little thing. We are used to having to quarantine. While other people are sitting there saying "My rights! My freedoms!" This is what we do to keep our kids safe. We sanitize, we clean, we keep hand sanitizer in our cars, nurses and kids book bags. Some of us already had cloth masks on hand before the pandemic hit. We have gloves. We are used to wiping things down. We are used to having to stay away from sick people and being wary about the person that just coughed or sneezed (and maybe giving them a stink eye).  We have to be cautious. Our kids lives depend on it. So when  I say it's really hard for me to decide what to do next year. I mean it. IT IS HARD! This is not easy or anyone! 

And, just for good measure, Ben has a stomach ache today that has been bothering him all day. Could it be just a regular stomach ache? Sure. Could it also be covid? I mean, thats always in the back of my mind. That's what anxiety and overthinking do to you. That's why it's almost impossible for me to see myself sending the kids back to school unless our cases have severely dropped by August. Of course, anything can happen. It is possible that our cases will significantly drop and there will be so few deaths that I will feel ok with it. I can always hope! 

Just to show anyone can make anything look good

Back to school

Ok, I'm gonna get on my teacher soapbox here a little bit. I respect the AAP. I really do. And I know, they are trying to keep kids safe and doing the best they can with their recommendations for how to help kids go back to school with what is a crazy situation. BUT, these recommendations https://edition.cnn.com/2020/05/05/health/schools-reopen-coronavirus-pediatrics-wellness/?fbclid=IwAR1f2X54ACzjivBYq7532iIcaoRV6sqJxr0RP5frGUF8bkoayj5uPcqJG7k 
https://services.aap.org/en/pages/2019-novel-coronavirus-covid-19-infections/covid-19-planning-considerations-return-to-in-person-education-in-schools/ are only realistic if you already have a very small classroom with lots of aides in the classroom. This is not going to work at all for public schools. Unless they are proposing that we add more classrooms so there are less kids in each class, which I am ALL FOR! And, I think my teacher friends would be all for. I do appreciate, though, that they said that we could start with reduced hours, and there might be a possibility of closures again if the virus returns. Though, that could be hard for dual income households, as it is now.

In Illinois we are doing phases of when things can start to open up. Right now we are in phase 2 which means things are pretty much still closed, you can order food and groceries, go to the pharmacy, go outside for walks, order things for curbside pickup. Stage 3 relaxes a little more where you can be in groups of 10 or less, hair salons and barbers open. Stage 4, groups of 50 or less can be together, schools and daycare can open under IDPH guidance. But in all of these stages, social distancing and wearing a mask is the norm. Stage 5 means we have a vaccine or cure. And life can go back to a new normal. Now, I am not exactly sure how schools can open up if you can have only groups of 50 or less, but, I guess we will figure that out when we get to stage 4. Right now we are just hoping to get to stage 3, which I am not sure if we will get there in June because our cases and deaths keep climbing instead of decreasing or staying the same. Which brings me to my questions of how this would work in schools. How do you socially distance kids in schools? How do you keep them safe, make sure that everyone maintains distance, as well as are we requiring kids to wear masks in school? Will the teachers? Thats going to make it awfully hard for kids who are hard of hearing to read lips. Or kids who are working on speech.

In Klara's class she has 5 students right now. In Ben's, I think he has around 14. I could be wrong about that number. And some will graduate up to Klara's class next year. So, in a school like that where class sizes are smaller, this would probably work well (maybe not for toddlers who like to stick everything in their mouths, but probably the rest of the school). But, I would still worry about bringing Ben back to school if the number of cases are increasing. It is not known for sure yet how transplant children fair with this virus, but Ben has another strike against him, he also has asthma. So, this would be even harder on his body.

Right now, in most of Abby's classes she has at least 32 kids. There is no way to keep them socially distant. I have seen some of her classrooms, they are not big enough to keep them 6 feet apart. And they do a lot of flexible seating in all 3 of my kids schools, so that would make things even more difficult. Also in lower grades, kids don't even know the meaning of not touching each other.I taught grades pre-k-first grade before becoming a DT. I know how much kids are all over each other! I do agree that children should keep up with their physicals and vaccines now more than ever! The last thing you need is to have your child get measles or chicken pox while worrying about covid!

And look, I DO want to send the kids back to school! I want them to be with their teachers, their friends, everyone. Learning in a classroom. But not if it's not safe and done right. Especially not with Ben. And if it's not safe for Ben, then that means Abby and Klara can't go back either because they could bring something back to him without even knowing.
Again, I do appreciate that this is a difficult situation, and the AAP is trying to give out some guidance on how to deal with this. I appreciate that they are doing the best they can to keep our kids as safe and healthy as possible in an unprecedented time.

*off my soapbox now*