Abby did not do well with online learning last year. She could not self-motivate. She is not a self-starter. She needs the motivation of being in a school setting at least a couple of days a week. We can deal with the online stuff the other 3 days. But, what if during those 2 days, she brings something home. We do have rules set up for them to follow when coming home. I bought alcohol wipes for them to wipe down seats. I bought bunches of masks. So you'd think I'd feel ok with it. So, why am I so hesitant to send her back?
Ben and Klara's school is much smaller and is also willing to do whatever schedule we would like, So, if they go back, it would most likely sign up with Abby's schedule. But, Klara learned well online last year. And, I can teach Ben if I have to. I am a certified teacher of birth-3rd grade. So, in a pinch I could teach him everything he needs to get set for 4th grade. But, he does not learn well with just me teaching him.
Then I think of the social aspect. They haven't seen anyone since this all started and they need the socialization. But, at the same time, in order to be safe, they will have to have masks on and stay 6 feet apart. What kind of socialization is that? You can't tell your best friend secrets if you're 6 feet apart. You can't have play dates 6 feet apart. You can't really do the things schools do to keep kids engaged from 6 feet apart. So, why do I want them back in school then? I don't know! And it's killing me trying to figure out what to do
I know many of my transplant mom friends, as well as other mom friends are going through the same agony. Do we put them in fully online, or do we do a hybrid? If we do a hybrid, what does that look like for our district? Abby needs to be in school. Joe says he feels like Ben and Klara's school is even safer than Abby's because there are way less kids there to worry about. But, the kids in Abby's school are in junior high, so one would hope that they know to keep there masks on and not try to cough in peoples faces. Abby and Klara's school, Ben is in a class with 6-9 year olds, which, at that age are not really known for their good sanitary practices. Klara is with 9-12 year olds. A little bit better age group, but still a little worrisome. I worry so much over this decision. especially as I see numbers go up in Illinois every day.
And yet, I also see people nonchalantly roaming around having parties of 50-60 people (yes, I know the maximum has been raised to 50 people, doesn't mean that it's totally safe yet), without masks, closer than 6 feet and not a care in the world. I wish I could feel that free. To not have to worry about my child's health. To not worry about his siblings and the guilt they may feel if they brought something home and made him sick. I can only imagine how guilty they would feel if they were the ones who brought it home and he was in the hospital for a month.
People are telling me to go with my gut. My gut is pulling me in a million different directions and keeping me up at night! I think I know what I want to do, and then the devil on my shoulder says "are you sure about that, because here is what I think will happen if you do that....."and lists 10 reasons why it's wrong. No matter which scenario. There is now wrong answer, but still, there is no right one either. J
