2 steps forward, 1 step back. That seems to be how it goes. Last night they upped the sedation level because Benjamin couldn't calm down when they would do anything to him. Just changing his diaper caused his hr to be in the 180's. For reference, they want it below 160 when awake. 120-140 when asleep. Today it's been in the 160's when awake and 150's when asleep. So, better but not great. They also changed his diuretic. They don't want him too dried out because that raises his hr too. His vent is back up to 20. So as not to stress his heart out too much. I hate all these little setbacks. I want him to get better! I have been praying for his new heart to come. I have also been seeing the chaplain to try to help me come to terms with the fact that another baby has to die for that to happen. Yesterday, a lot of tears were shed. I just want my baby healthy. I pray every day that he will just get better, and if not, that a new heart will come. We've been here less than 2 weeks( though it feels like much longer!) and I've heard them call codes 6 different times. 2 times was for the same room! It's so scary. I don't want Ben to ever warrant that kind if attention!