Today has been a pretty good day. Ben has been sleeping most of it away. But his vitals are all good. The one little scary bit, they weighed him today and he got pretty mad about that. His hr went way up. To like 190. Which, we can't have. I kept trying to get him to calm down. You could tell he was crying even though he wasn't making any sounds. That was so sad :( they gave him some morphine and he's sleeping again. They also gave him on ativan so hopefully he won't be so anxious. They say getting that breathing tube out will really help his stress level. I'm still praying for my Christmas miracle. Though, I'm trying to wrap my brain around how to pray for a heart. That means another baby has to die. Which makes me sad too. But I can't have my baby die either. I just don't know how to reconcile that in my heart or head. The dr told me he can take a heart from a child twice his size. So, that means up to 24 lbs. that became more real to me because Klara is just 34 lbs. So, that's like a 2 year old sized. That hurts my heart too. :'( but still , I am praying for a heart to be available soon so we can all go home and be a family of 5 again.